


An Education

by stereobone



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 21:21:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4640640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stereobone/pseuds/stereobone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Can Levi juggle teaching and dealing with the school's new, absurdly attractive principal? Probably, but it won't be easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Education

People always seem surprised when they find out Levi is a kindergarten teacher. They say things like, " _You_?" which Levi can easily translate to, "Wow, but you're so uptight and grumpy, I had no idea you liked children." It stopped bothering him by his third month of teaching. Likes children is probably an understatement. Levi loves children. In fact, they're one of the few things that don't make him want to commit homicide. There's a genuine innocence about them, a natural curiosity.

Though sometimes it's a stupid curiosity, like Armin, who's currently trying to eat glue.

"Armin," Levi says. "Armin, what are you doing? We don't eat that."

Armin looks down at the bottle as if he can read it.

"I'm hungry," he says.

"Lunch is in fifteen minutes." Levi gently takes the bottle away. "Glue will give you a bad tummy. Can you wait fifteen minutes?"

Armin nods, hair bouncing. Next to him, Eren holds up the paper hand he just finished tracing, smile all gummy and gap-toothed.

"Mr. Levi! I'm finished."

"Don't you want to decorate it?"

"Oh…" Eren sets the paper hand down. "Okay! I'll write my name."

"Do you know how to spell your name?"

"Yes!" Eren says, and then a pause. "…No."

"I'll help you."

Levi sits in one of the tiny plastic chairs he doesn't like to admit that he can fit into.

"What letter does it start with?" he says, then looks up, intuition tingling. "Hold on—Sasha! Get your finger out of your nose."

It's another fifteen minutes of that back and forth. Levi darts between tables and stops Armin from trying to eat the glue _again_. He collects everyone's paper hands and promises to cut them out while they're at lunch. Then it's a headcount, sixteen little heads in total, and they're off walking to the cafeteria. They follow behind Levi like little ducklings. It's a game he made up with them—they follow behind quietly in a straight line and Levi lets them quack as they turn the corners. All down the hall everyone can hear his kids quacking, their giggles barely contained, and then Levi herds them into the cafeteria and sets off back to his classroom for some much needed alone time.

He sinks into his chair and there is quiet. There is quiet and sixteen paper hands he'll get a cramp cutting out later with those stupid safety scissors. Levi leans back, his head hanging over the back of the chair, and shuts his eyes. He loves his kids, but that doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate the hour break of lunch and recess, the settled silence of the classroom.

"I hope I'm not interrupting."

"Shit—"

Levi jerks forward and nearly throws himself out of his chair and then slaps his hand over his mouth. He has to grab the desk to steady himself, heart rate spiking. There's a man standing in his open doorway. He steps in before Levi can say anything else.

"Sorry," the man says. "I didn't mean to scare you."

He's handsome, really handsome, the cut of his face so striking it demands attention. His eyes are large almonds, bright blue, with a nose that slopes and hooks gently. But his most striking feature is those eyebrows—these neatly groomed brushes that command that bulk of his expressions. Levi is almost convinced he fell asleep at his desk and is having a dream. He stands so he feels less at a disadvantage.

"It's fine, it only took a few years off my life."

The man smiles at him, amused at his sense of humor apparently, and then runs his eyes up Levi's body, from his jeans to his slightly disheveled hair.

"You're a teacher?" he says, as if he can't quite believe it. "Here?"

"Uh," Levi says. "Yeah."

The man's lips quirk and he nods, seeming at odds with this new information before saying, "I hope you don't swear like that in front of your kids."

"Well of course not," Levi says, bristling. He never swears in front of the kids. Never. "Sorry—who exactly are you?"

"Ah," the man says. "Again, I apologize. I'm Erwin Smith."

He extends his hand, Levi takes it, and then realizes three seconds later that he's Erwin Smith the _new principal_. His heart rate spikes again. It's Friday. The new principal wasn't supposed to start until Monday. This isn't a dream, it's a fucking nightmare.

"Levi Ackerman…did you get your days mixed up?" Levi says.

"Not at all. I just thought I would check out the school before the weekend and prepare myself."

Erwin drifts away from him and starts looking around the classroom, which Levi immediately feels embarrassed about. The room is a mess right now—colored pencils and crayons still scattered about, shoes and take-home papers hanging haphazardly out of cubbies. There are dried scabs of glue on the tables and Levi is absolutely certain now that Sasha left a booger on her chair. And yeah, they're five year olds, but Levi prides himself on getting the classroom to look pretty spotless by the end of the day.

"I like your room," Erwin says, apparently blind to the disaster zone before him. "You seem to do a lot of hands-on projects with your kids. You teach kindergarten, yes?"

"Yeah."

Erwin glances at the white board and Levi remembers that there are very, very poorly drawn pictures of cats up there that he did for the kids during story time earlier, and sort of wants Erwin to drop dead so that he'll never be able to have this memory. Erwin looks over to him again, his smile easy.

"Well it was very nice to meet you," he says. "I'm sorry again that I frightened you at first. Oh, and…be careful with that language."

"I don't swear," Levi says, almost desperately, but Erwin has already walked out of the room.

He waits until he can no longer hear Erwin's footsteps in the hallway before whispering a quiet "fuck" into the classroom.

\--

"Oh yeah," Petra says outside at recess. "I met him too. He stopped by my class just before lunch. He seems nice."

"Sneaky, more like," Levi says.

Petra's eyes narrow in thought.

"No, I don't…think that's the right word."

She takes a sip from her water bottle, the two of them eyeing the children in the early afternoon sun. It's not quite cold enough for jackets, but there's the telltale chill in the air, the warning of cooler air to come. But the shrieking energy of children lets everyone know summer isn't quite over, not yet.

"He's certainly younger than Zackly," Petra says. "And certainly more normal."

Levi groans under his breath, lest he forget the bizarre Zackly scandal that befell them not two weeks ago. Less than a month into the school year and Zackly doesn't show up one Wednesday. And he doesn't show up the next day, either. He'd been Levi's principal since he started teaching three years ago, always listened to feedback, though he got little done. He seemed normal, _seem_ being the keyword. His disappearance sparked rumors, all the usual at first—drugs, prostitution. But the truth ended up being far more bizarre. It was during a staff meeting. They were all huddled around when Nanaba leaned over to Levi and Petra and said, "I heard Zackly got arrested for peddling illegal art."

Immediately, Levi's mind went to child pornography, and he felt a hot rage boil up his spine and settle nicely into his chest. That bastard had been around his _kids_ , he'd hugged some of them.

"You mean…" Petra started, obviously having gone down the same mental path.

"No, no," Nanaba said. "Apparently it was Russian scat."

"I'm sorry," said Levi. "What the fuck?"

Nanaba nodded gravely, and lo and behold, two days later, there was a blip on the news about it, and then Zackly's sad mug as he was shuffled into the back of a police car. The whole thing had been almost too bizarre to believe. But then, most things were. So they went another week with director of guidance Nile running things while they searched for a replacement, which was an event all unto itself, because nobody liked or respected him. And somehow they found Erwin Smith.

"We thought Zackly was normal too," Levi says, feeling put out.

"Well, excuse me for not assuming everyone has a treasure trove of Russian poo porn." Petra shudders. "Why are you so on the offensive? Did you meet him?"

"He came into my classroom during lunch, scared the shit out of me."

"Ah," Petra says. "You fucked up your first impression."

"I did not—"

"I'm sure it's fine. Erwin seems easygoing."

"We'll see," Levi says, and squints into the sun.

\--

He really doesn't know why he's so suspicious of the new principal at first. Probably because Levi is suspicious of all people, especially very attractive ones. He doesn't feel this should be held against him.

That night, he's home for about twenty minutes before Hanji unlocks his door and comes tumbling in, their limbs always moving like cooked spaghetti. Levi is already fighting off a headache. He pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, eyes shutting.

"How many times have I told you not to just come into my house like that?"

Hanji frowns. "But I have a key."

"Because you're my landlord."

Landlord, occasional friend, and neighbor. Sometimes Hanji forgets to pick up the rent check so Levi uses all those terms loosely. They met during college when Hanji wandered into the wrong class and for some reason never left.

"Right…but it's easier than knocking." Hanji tucks the key into their back pocket. "Anyway, now that that's settled—"

"We didn't settle it," Levi says.

"We pretty much did," says Hanji.

"No—"

"Did your school find a new principal yet?"

Levi clicks his jaw shut. He does not want to talk about this. He wouldn't even be living here if it weren't the cheapest housing option on a teacher's salary and within walking distance to the subway (not to mention the bars). And for some reason, Hanji is filthy rich and owns about four houses in the area. He points to his front door.

"Go back outside and then knock, four-eyes."

Hanji is a scientist, though Levi would mistake them for an actor the way they drag their hands down their face like Levi's just asked some impossible task of them.

"But, Levi—"

" _Go_."

Hanji makes an exasperated noise and then sulks back to the door. It's shut for just over two seconds before there's a knock.

"No one's home," Levi says.

"Levi!"

\--

The rest of the weekend comes and goes like it always does, a blink, all the moments gone before they were ever really there. Levi goes into school early that Monday morning to get his classroom ready. They have a custodial unit that cleans over the weekend, but they always move his things around and quite frankly do a poor job, at least by Levi's standards. When he walks up to the front doors of the main building that morning, Erwin is walking up as well, dressed much nicer than Friday. His suit fits a little too well, and something about the color of his tie makes his eyes pop, or maybe that's just the morning air. Levi debates quickly about darting inside or holding the door open for him, and ultimately decides holding the door open is a better decision.

"Good morning," Erwin says. "You're here early."

"I'm always early on Monday. I like to clean."

"Don't we have a custodial staff?"

"Yeah," says Levi, and doesn't elaborate more than that.

He doesn't see Erwin again that day, which doesn't surprise him. There's no small amount of work involved in being a principal, even in a school as small as theirs. It's a public school, technically, but there are only two classes for each grade level up to fifth grade. They lucked out somehow in terms of zoning. Levi both likes and loathes that. On the one hand, the class sizes are reasonable, and there's less space to potentially lose a kid. But on the other, everyone knows him, and Levi has more than once been described as a private person. "Hermit," was actually the term an ex-boyfriend used, but he was also a piece of shit, so.

He does see Erwin a few times during the week though, always, most unfortunately, when there is some disaster happening, like Jean having peed his pants. He sees Erwin out of the corner of his eye, having somehow materialized by his door, and doesn't stop what he's doing (which is disinfecting Jean's chair while Jean clings to him and cries with his pee pants still on), because now he feels like he has something to prove. The whole thing probably lasts two minutes tops. It feels like an hour.

On Friday, he eats lunch in Petra's classroom, which is when she drops the bomb on him.

"You're coming out tonight, right?"

Levi's got a half-chewed bite of turkey wrap in his mouth, and pushes it to one side so his left cheek is ballooned like a chipmunk's.

"What?" he says.

"Tonight," Petra says. "Didn't you get the email?"

Levi continues to stare blankly at her, so she rolls her eyes and then her chair over to the computer to pull the email up. Levi takes this opportunity to finish chewing his food.

"See?" she says, pointing to the screen, and see Levi does.

He has a bad habit of not checking his email, and apparently this one was sent on Tuesday. It's an invitation from Erwin himself to all the teachers to join him at one of those kitschy restaurant/bars near the school. A get-to-know-each-other type deal. Levi's stomach drops.

"What? Is this legal?"

"Uh, I think so?" says Petra.

"This is disgusting," Levi says. "Why can't he be like Zackly and just ignore us until we fuck up or there's a huge problem?"

Petra stares at him, alarmed. "Are you saying you _want_ him to be a bad principal?"

"No." Levi actually doesn't know what he's saying. "But it's weird."

"Yeah, our boss wants to get to know us and have a good relationship," Petra says, her voice strained and deadpan. "So weird. If only he were into scat instead."

"Enough with the scat," says Levi.

\--

He does go though, after a lot of mental convincing. This is actually a good thing, Levi tells himself. It's a chance to clear up his first impression with Erwin and hopefully make it clear that he's a good, competent teacher. And if it gets any more awkward, well, he can always duck out early and hope he and Erwin never have to interact ever again.

Levi walks into the restaurant with Petra, and then she, being a social butterfly and terrible human being, leaves him alone to say hello to the other teachers. The restaurant is typical Friday-night-crowded, families and businessmen splayed in their vinyl-lined booths, an assortment of fried foods and colorful drinks in front of them. Levi surveys where Erwin is sitting and then sits an appropriate distance away and pretends to be fascinated by the menu. A few people have ordered margaritas, so Levi orders one for himself as well. Even Erwin has one.

An hour there consists of Levi nursing his margarita and eating a spicy salad that is not, in fact, very spicy at all. Erwin is actually relatively quiet. He sits with a bacon cheeseburger and mostly observes the teachers interacting, the stories they tell, what makes them laugh or tick. It's a smart move, and Levi gives credit where credit is due. He's learning all of them right here and now in one setting. It's not their teaching styles, but he's seeing them outside the strictly professional setting, and that gives him a lot more than sitting in on a class.

No one really bothers Levi for conversation. They all like him, but they also all know him. Levi talks when he has something to say. So after another hour, Levi has only said a few sentences. This is the smart move on his part. Levi doesn't like giving too much of himself away all at once. Petra calls him a hard candy shell with a gooey center, "a real softy," but he doesn't let people know that right away. Levi is a lot of hard-to-peel layers, a safe with no combination (the mix of alcohol notwithstanding. With alcohol, Levi is a fucking audiobook).

He goes to the bar for his second margarita and watches but does not pay attention to the sports highlights playing on the plasma TV. Halfway through his drink, Erwin sits next to him, his own margarita teetering on empty. Levi does not look away from the TV.

"You've been quiet all night," Erwin says.

The conversation was imminent, Levi knew, but he wasn't expecting that to be Erwin's opening line.

"I'm a quiet person," he says.

"I didn't get that impression at all."

Levi's gives him a short laugh. He runs his finger along some of the stray condensation on his glass, remembering why he came here in the first place.

"You like this job, so far?" he says. "I'm sure they told you what happened to the last principal."

"Oh," Erwin says, "they did. I like to think I'm doing all right so far."

"If you have a secret porn dungeon, better fess up now."

Erwin laughs genuinely.

"I can assure you I do not." He swallows the last of his drink, still chuckling. "I do have a question for you, though."

"Okay," says Levi, warily.

"I noticed you were wearing an apron today, but the other kindergarten teacher—Mrs. Ral, I believe—wasn't."

"Oh," Levi says. He's relieved but also strangely disappointed that the question is as mundane and stupid as that. "Well that's her choice."

"And the apron is yours?"

"Have you ever taught a class full of five year olds? Their noses are always runny and their hands are always sticky. It's practicality. Is there something wrong with wearing an apron?"

"No," Erwin says, seeming more amused than shocked at the conviction of Levi's words. "I was just curious. It's a nice apron. You look very good in it."

"Of course it—wait, what?"

But he doesn't get an answer, because Erwin has turned his attention to another teacher that's approached. Levi blinks slowly and deliberately, questioning just how strong his margarita is. The tone of Erwin's voice felt more than complimentary...almost flirtatious. But that, Levi tells himself sternly, is impossible.

He signals for his check while Erwin is talking and slides payment and tip across the sticky bar top. Erwin turns back just in time to notice him doing so.

"Leaving?" he says.

Levi nods, eager now to get the final word in.

"I meant what I said last week, by the way—I don't swear in front of my kids."

"No," Erwin says, his tone quite professional. "I believe you. You're very good with them, actually, from what I've seen. Though I admit you don't seem the type to like children."

"You're not the first person to say that." Levi remembers that he's trying to make a better impression and adds: "But I do. I like kids a lot. That's why I became a teacher."

Erwin looks at him knowingly.

"Don't think our first encounter gave me a bad impression of you," he says. "I certainly didn't expect all the teachers to be in top form during my surprise visit, and you've proven you take your job seriously."

At this point Levi isn't actually sure what to say. He feels a kind of irrational annoyance at Erwin for being so easygoing, but the flood of relief in his veins is more poignant, so he settles on that feeling instead. There isn't really anything left of his margarita but he swallows the last bit anyway just so he has something to do.

"Well, thanks," he says finally, awkwardly.

And Erwin nods, still with that knowing look.

Levi doesn't feel the need to say anything else after that. He slides off the barstool. Erwin shifts with that motion, forearms rippling.

"Are you all right to drive?" he says.

"I'm fine, I use the subway, anyway."

"Ah, convenient."

"Except when it's delayed," Levi says. "See you Monday."

"Goodnight," Erwin says.

Levi feels good about it, leaving. He's cleared the air, they've established a friendly relationship. The awkwardness is over.

\--

He goes into Erwin's office and it's normal, it feels normal. Erwin isn't wearing a tie though, and for some reason Levi finds this odd. Then Levi can't remember why he's there in the first place.

"You seem tense," Erwin tells him. He was sitting in his chair but now he's standing, so much taller than Levi remembers.

"Do I?" he says, voice distant and dreamy. "Where's your tie?"

"I was going to gag you with it."

Levi blinks. "What?"

"But then again, I think I'd rather hear every word that comes out of your mouth," Erwin says, and he kisses him, and Levi is instantly more aroused than he's ever been before.

They kiss right there in his office, Levi on his toes and reveling in the way Erwin bites his bottom lip. Then they're in Erwin's bed, and Levi is naked and Erwin is crawling over him, and it feels that easy.

"What do you want?" Erwin says. "Tell daddy."

Levi squirms. "Please, I—"

"Yes?"

"Touch me, daddy."

And just as Erwin does, Levi jerks awake to his alarm going off, lying flat in his bed, splayed out like a starfish and hard as anything. He sits up so fast he gets dizzy, doesn't even hear the alarm at this point.

"What the fuck," he says. " _Daddy_?"

He doesn't remember getting ready for work. The dream follows him around like smog, settled over his head and making everything else fuzzy. Levi leaves the house in a daze and walks to the subway station with all the other Monday morning commuters, his legs still not quite working properly. Christ, he doesn't even have a daddy kink. It doesn't even occur to him that he's going to see Erwin until he walks up to the school. He opens the door to then main building, and just like last week, Erwin is walking up behind him.

"Good morning, Levi," Erwin says.

Levi freezes, hand on the door, Erwin naked above him still very much etched in his mind. So are Erwin's dream teeth sinking into his thighs, his dream fingers inside him, his dream arms holding him tight.

"Morning," he says, without turning, and then darts inside the building.

It's a very smooth and strategic exit, actually. He walks as fast as he can without breaking into an all-out run, and doesn't stop even when he's turned the corner. It isn't until he gets into his classroom that he remembers to breathe.

He decides the most sensible course of action at this point is to just hate Erwin.

\--

They're learning about animals that morning when Mikasa comes in, so quiet and severe Levi almost doesn't notice her. It's Eren's loud shriek of her name that tips him off, actually. Levi's holding a plush elephant when she deposits herself next to Eren, face far too serious for a five year old.

"Mikasa," he says. "Why aren't you in Miss Petra's room?"

"I wanted to see my brother."

She's done this before, about five times now. Siblings are always put in opposite classes, which apparently was unacceptable for Mikasa, who creepily carries herself like she's fifteen and once was the subject of Petra's nightmare. She's awfully attached to Eren, which Levi does find a bit cute, but it worries him to know she's somehow slipped Petra's room and wandered the halls alone.

The class phone rings.

"Sit there," Levi tells her, elephant tucked under his arm now as he picks up the phone.

"I believe you have something of mine," Petra says.

"Three and a half feet tall with the demeanor of an assassin?"

"Bingo—" the phone starts to crackle and then ripples static before Petra's voice comes back. "Shoot, these phones."

The phones have been a problem for a while, among other things. Levi's taken to hitting the receiver on the desk. He doesn't know if this actually does anything but it sure as shit makes him feel better.

"Can you hear me?" he says. "I'll bring her to the cafeteria with my class at lunch and we'll meet up."

"Cafeteria?" Petra says, voice far away sounding. "I can barely understand you."

"Yes," Levi says, speaking slower and more pronounced. "At lunch."

Petra's voice is nothing but hiccups and static so Levi just hangs up, pulls out his cellphone and texts her.

He decides to cut the animal lesson short and go into story time before lunch. He keeps with the animal theme by reading _Make Way for Ducklings_. Story time is kind of a magical thing, as far as Levi is concerned. The kids go quiet, more attentive than they'll ever be capable of again that day, and they gather around Levi like he holds something incredible. They all sit on the floor and Levi cracks the book open for them. Mikasa has settled herself in the front by Eren, and Levi has to remind himself not to look into her eyes.

He's about halfway through when the door to his classroom opens and Levi regrets having peripheral vision, because he can see Erwin standing there. Levi only pauses for a second when he registers that he's there before continuing his policeman impression. Leave, he thinks. Leave, leave, leave. He doesn't like it when people see him reading, and he especially doesn't like it when those people happen to have been the subjects of his extremely detailed sex dreams.

But Erwin doesn't leave, not even when Levi has to start making Mrs. Mallard's quacking noises. At this point he can only hope for a quick death. Only that doesn't happen either. And he's pretty sure Erwin is smiling, but refuses to glance over to check. It isn't until he's on the last page that Erwin finally leaves, at which time Levi allows himself to breathe. He closes the book and leans back in the chair.

"Mr. Levi," Mikasa says. "Your cheeks are red."

"Okay, I think it's time to get you back to your class now," says Levi.

\--

In his mind, it's a form of revenge, going to Erwin's office during lunch. He walks through the front office with purpose, strolls past dividends and the one frantic secretary who is never not frantic. Erwin's door is closed. For some reason, standing out there, Levi thinks about himself in high school, waiting outside the principal's office with bloody knuckles. He'd never been nervous then. He had the blasé attitude only angry teenagers can possess, and was ready to milk it for all it was worth.

Levi knocks on Erwin's door, and the frantic secretary looks up at him through her mousey nose and seems very alarmed. Technically, all meetings with the principal are supposed to go through her, but if Erwin can waltz into his class unannounced, Levi feels it's only fair that he can do the same. He steps back as the door opens. Erwin is right there, seemingly growing taller each time Levi sees him.

"Levi, what a pleasant surprise," he says, actually looking pleasantly surprised.

"I'm sorry," the frantic secretary says. "I didn't realize he was here, or I would have intervened—"

"It's all right," Erwin says. "Come in, Levi."

Levi does. Erwin shuts the door behind him, blocking the anxious energy from his poor secretary, and walks back over to his chair. His desk is a fucking mess. There are papers everywhere with no apparent order to them, two empty coffee mugs, and a half-full bag of Doritos, which Levi doesn't think should be included in the diet of any respectable adult.

"Please sit," Erwin says, and motions to the rickety plastic and cloth chair before his desk. He looks very good in the oxblood leather chair of a principal, but Levi isn't forgetting why he's here.

"I'd rather stand."

"Oh, well—"

"Listen," Levi says. "The phones cut out in the classrooms. They're old as hell and not reliable communication for teacher. We need new ones."

It's the blunt, down to business kind of approach he's always had, but he feels so vindicated having caught Erwin off guard for once. Maybe he's smirking a little bit with his eyes, maybe he's standing just a little taller right now. Erwin is watching him, and he can feel him processing the information, the silence pregnant.

"All right," Erwin says.

Levi blanks, and then feels shorter. He was not expecting that to be so easy.

"All right?" he says.

Erwin nods.

"Sure."

He starts patting at the papers blindly on his desk before he finds a pen underneath one, and then just starts writing a note on the back of a paper that Levi thinks looks actually kind of important. He squints. Erwin's handwriting is atrocious.

"Was there anything else?" Erwin says.

Levi feels like he just got a concussion.

"Uh, no."

"Oh," Erwin says, like that's disappointing to him. "Well, I'll get on these phones right away."

Levi walks backward toward the door like a plains animal retreating from a predator—take your eyes away for a second and who knows what they might do.

"Okay," says Levi.

"Okay," says Erwin.

Levi reaches blindly behind himself for the door handle.

"Impeccable duck impression by the way," Erwin says. "I had no idea—"

Levi is outside his office with the door shut before Erwin can finish his next word.

\--

It all catches him off guard, kind of like a fever. In two weeks since The Dream he hasn't had another, so Levi is able to mostly compartmentalize that away where he won't have to think about it for at least another year. But Erwin is still at the forefront of his mind. He's there every Monday morning at the same time as Levi, and if Levi weren't a stubborn person, he might consider coming in at a later time, but like hell he's going to bend. So instead he suffers what he considers to be the most awkward boss/employee relationship he's ever had. He holds the door open if Erwin walks up at the same time and then walks away before Erwin can finish saying good morning, a clipped greeting ground out between his lips.

The worst part is probably that Erwin isn't even a bad principal. He's actually a damn good one. Just a week after Levi nearly had an aneurysm in Erwin's office, there are new, upgraded phones in all the classrooms. This is not normal. The bureaucracy of school budgets and education is riddled with shitheads and red tape that Levi gets a headache just thinking about. It takes, on average, an entire school year for anything to even get talked about being done. But Erwin got them new phones within a week. Levi doesn't know how this is possible, as every time he sees Erwin he doesn't seem to be doing much of anything, not that Levi is looking. Actually, most times he sees him, it's because Erwin is stopping by his classroom while he's teaching. He never says anything, never comes in. He just hangs by the door for a few minutes, watching, and then walks away without a word. One day he even stopped by slurping what Levi is absolutely sure was a strawberry milkshake. He still does not know why this caused great anger in him.

Actually, the worst part is that Erwin is insanely attractive and probably knows, and probably knows that Levi knows that he knows it.

The next Monday, he's running on an empty stomach and little sleep, eyes bleary. Hanji came over the night before, again without knocking, but they were brandishing a burned copy of a new show Levi had wanted to watch. They ended up binge watching half the season, until Hanji started snoring and Levi kicked them out. He takes a later train and expects to walk up to an empty main building, but no. Erwin is standing right there as if he were waiting for him, holding a white takeout bag under his arm. Levi nods a thank-you when Erwin holds the door open for him, ready to say good morning as usual and get it over with. Right on cue, his stomach lets out a serious of growls, crying for food.

"Hungry?" Erwin says, eyebrows rising at the succession of traitorous noises coming from Levi's stomach.

Levi presses a hand against his stomach. "I didn't have time for breakfast this morning."

"You should take care not to skip breakfast," Erwin tells him, chewing on whatever meal he's brought with him. "It's important."

Levi hates that he feels chided, and even worse that he wants to prove that he doesn't always skip breakfast and is a responsible adult, like the weight of Erwin's opinion truly matters to him. It was just this one time and he has fruit in the teachers' lounge anyhow.

"I know that, I don't always—wait—are you eating _French fries_?"

"Yes," Erwin says.

Levi doesn't know what he finds more alarming—the fact that Erwin has the diet of an eighteen-year-old college student right before finals or the fact that he seems to be in fantastic shape despite all of that.

Is it, in fact, a combination of the two.

\--

"Are you all right?" Petra says, "You seem kind of on edge lately."

They're in her room again eating lunch, the smell of drying nontoxic paint tickling their noses. Levi tears at bits of lemon pepper chicken with his fork, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He knows exactly what she's talking about, but he plays dumb.

"On edge?"

"Yeah. Like always looking over your shoulder. Are you secretly running from the feds? Should I get you to a safe place?"

She pokes at her salad and watches him with actual genuine concern, and Levi wonders if he really is acting that on edge. Is it really that noticeable? He's hopeful that only Petra, with her deer-like eyes and overactive empathy, is the only one who's actually noticed a big difference in him. And he should just tell her. They're friends. They were both hired on at the same time to teach kindergarten three years ago, and they navigated that terrifying milestone together with frantic calls about upcoming lessons and confused anger at the bizarreness of the education system. But he doesn't really know what he'd tell her, actually. So he asks a question instead.

"Does Erwin ever stop in your class while you're teaching?"

"Who? Oh." Petra chews thoughtfully on a grape tomato. "Um, no, not since that first day. Why?"

Levi frowns.

"Nothing."

"Seriously, what is your deal? Is it Erwin?"

"Yes," Levi says.

Then, "No."

Then, "Not so much him as his approach to everything. Have you noticed the shit that he eats? And he wanders around the halls like a lost puppy sometimes—where is he going, did he forget? What is he doing? How did he get us new phones so quickly? Why is he handsome?"

Levi inhales and then shoves more chicken into his mouth, a little dazed.

"Oh my god," Petra says.

"What?" says Levi. "What?"

"Nothing." She's shaking her head and very obviously trying not to break into a toothy grin. "I'm just shocked to see you display actual human emotion."

"I will dump your salad," Levi says.

Petra pulls the plastic container back toward herself and flips the lid down protectively.

"Don't you dare, I picked this arugula myself." She looks ready to defend herself with her fork. "Don't take it out on me just because you have a crush on the principal."

"A cr—are you fucking—I don't have a—" Levi can't even say the word. "I'm not twelve."

"Uh-huh," Petra says. "Sure. But if you keep ignoring it, it's going to become a problem."

She resumes eating, sneaking bites of arugula with the lid half closed in case Levi decides to make good on his threat. Levi's head is spinning.

"It's not a problem," he insists. "It's not going to be become a problem."

\--

It does actually become a problem. It becomes a problem when Levi is biking through the park and thinks he hears Erwin call his name. He cranes his head immediately to look, alarmed, and realizes it's just a bald man calling to his child, whose name is actually Lela.

Levi then cycles directly into the retention pond.

\--

It's their first really cold day when Jean shows up without a jacket. This is how things change. Levi notices it when Jean comes in the classroom, his truck sweater the only thing protecting him from the harsh wind outside. _There's no way his mother let him leave the house like that_ , Levi thinks. _Did he forget it on the bus_? He crouches beside Jean while they're all getting settled. The boy's nose is still red from the cold.

"Jean," Levi says. "Where's your jacket today?"

Jean doesn't say anything. He looks embarrassed.

"Did you leave it on the bus? You're not in trouble if you did."

"I forgot," Jean says, squirming in his chair, nose running now.

Levi lucks out and gets him a jacket from the front office lost and found. It's a little oversized but it does the trick. He watches Jean during recess that day, the deep blue of the jacket billowing out as he runs around the playground. He looks happy. Levi can't shake the bad feeling it gives him anyway.

A week later, Jean doesn't have lunch. At first, Levi thinks he's going to buy lunch, but as they make their way into the cafeteria, Jean goes right for a seat, eyes down. Levi beelines right to him. He doesn't even start with the pretense of asking this time, just pulls some money from his wallet. Jean looks up at him, sheepish.

"Hot turkey sandwiches for lunch today," Levi says. "I think that sounds good, don't you?"

Jean nods, the smile drawing on his face enough to give Levi heart pangs. He tucks the money into Jean's hand and the boy bounds from his seat and rushes to meet Eren and Mikasa in the hot lunch line.

That's not the last straw though. The last straw is a day later when Levi sees him at recess, arms looped through the monkey bars dome, chin resting on one of the metal bars. He looks sullen and lost. Usually, he's following Eren around the playground. The two of them are always going back and forth between being best friends and mortal enemies. This is the last straw.

He goes to Nile right when school gets out. Nile, who he hates with a passion he didn't realize he possessed. Nile is the director of guidance. No one actually knows what that means. Levi doesn't know anyone who actually goes to him for anything unless they really, really need it. His office always smells like tuna fish and his eyes are so goddamn beady. Levi hates him. But he goes in there anyway, whereupon he is immediately brushed off.

"If his parents found out we brought in a social worker when nothing was wrong they could sue us," Nile says. "I'm not being lazy. This is practicality."

"This is bullshit," Levi says. "Something is obviously going on at home and we need to intervene."

"No, we need to make it clear that he can speak to us about anything and keep that channel of communication open."

"'Channel of communication'?" Levi has a tight grip on the wooden edge of Nile's desk. "The kid is five years old. Sorry for not filling out a ten page report about it."

"I'm sorry," Nile says. "This is the procedure. If he came in bruised, that would be a different story. But there's not enough evidence to warrant that kind of intervention."

"I hope you have a painful shit later," Levi says, and then storms out.

What he'd like to do is talk to Jean himself. But Levi doesn't actually have the skills to do that. He knows how to teach kids, but even with them he can be awkward. It's pure luck that kids seem to just like him so much. That doesn't make him qualified to investigate a possible abuse or neglect case with any of them.

Levi's angry walk slows the farther he gets from Nile's office—it's more of a dazed shuffle by the time he walks by Erwin's office. He's between thoughts of anger and helplessness when Erwin's door opens and he steps out, all packed up and ready to leave. He pauses when he sees Levi.

"Afternoon," he says, and then notices the look on Levi's face and immediately frowns. "What's wrong?"

Levi is actually relieved to see him.

"I need to talk to you," he says.

At the tone of his voice, Erwin nods immediately.

"Come in."

He sits down this time. There are still papers all over Erwin's desk, in fact if Levi didn't know any better, he'd say they were the exact same papers from a few weeks ago. Erwin leaves his things by the office door and sits across from him, no longer ready to leave. In fact, he looks ready to stay here all day if need be.

"Tell me what's going on," he says.

"I'm concerned about one of my kids," Levi says. "His demeanor has changed, he comes to school underdressed, no lunch. I think something is going on at home."

There's a pause where Erwin doesn't answer right away, and Levi thinks he's going to brush this off the way Nile did, and he's not ready to let that happen.

"I know there isn't enough to say one way or the other, but I think it's worth looking into." Levi takes a breath. "I know it is. So if administration wants to sit on their asses about it, fine. I can call a social worker myself."

"No," Erwin says. "I'll take care of that. You're excellent with your kids, Levi. If you think something is wrong, then your concerns are valid."

Levi stutters a moment. Erwin's caught him off guard again. The phones were one thing, but this is something else entirely. He feels even more relieved now, though he's still sitting straight up in his chair.

"You'll call?"

"This afternoon, in fact."

"All right," Levi says. "The student's name is Jean Kirstein...so…thank you."

And then Erwin says, "I'm glad."

Levi cocks his head.

"You're glad I think one of my students is potentially being neglected?"

"No," Erwin says. "What? No, that was poorly worded. I mean that I'm glad you felt comfortable bringing this to my attention. I've noticed the way you avoid me at times. I was beginning to think I had done something to upset you."

And that, well, now Levi feels a bit guilty. He tries to think of a way he can explain it without hanging himself or calling Erwin a thick slab.

"I'm just a private person," he says instead. "It's not personal."

"I see…" Erwin says, slowly, as if he's not convinced.

"I'm also blunt and awkward," Levi adds.

At this point, Erwin cracks a smile.

"That I did notice."

There's a pause, and in that pause Erwin holds his gaze and Levi feels trapped in it.

"Go on home," Erwin says to him. "I'll make some calls."

\--

The social worker comes two days later during recess. She has Levi stay in the room with her and Jean so he'll have someone there he knows and trusts. Erwin is also there, but he's standing in the back of the room. Levi and the social worker sit with Jean at one of the tables, where Levi has set up paper and crayons for him to color. He looks nervous, ready to be scolded, and Levi wants to do anything for him not to have that look ever again. Not at this age.

"Hi, Jean," the social worker says. "My name is Miss Historia, and I'm a friend of Mr. Levi's."

"Hi," Jean says. He's not looking at her.

"We thought maybe you'd like to draw some pictures of your family for us?"

Jean hesitates but eventually nods, and though his movements are meek he still starts drawing. He draws his house, himself, and two adults. They're all done in blue crayon except for the male—he's in red. Historia catches Levi's eyes and he wonders how someone as delicate looking as her does this kind of thing every day.

"Who's this here, in the red?" asks Historia.

"My mom's boyfriend."

"Do you like him?"

Jean doesn't say anything.

"It's okay to tell us," Levi says.

Jean shakes his head.

"You don't like him?" Historia says. "Why not?"

"He's mean to me."

Levi looks up and settles on Erwin, his expression just as somber as Levi's probably is right now. It's like time is still in the classroom. There could a black hole swallowing up the rest of the world outside and they wouldn't even know, wouldn't care to know. Levi hadn't wanted this. He wanted to know what was going on, but he hadn't wanted it to be this. He wanted to be wrong.

"How is he mean?" Historia says.

"He calls me names," Jean says, and fuck, he looks ready to cry.

"What else?"

"He locks me in the room when mommy isn't home and he—and he tells me I'm stupid. And then he sleeps when it's time for school."

"That's not nice of him," Historia says, and she puts her hand on his back. "Adults shouldn't do that. And that's not your fault, okay?"

It takes Jean a moment to nod. Levi keeps looking at Erwin, unable to look anywhere else.

"We're going to help, okay?" Historia says, and Levi's eyes are stinging.

\--

After Historia leaves and Jean is allowed back to recess, it's just Erwin and Levi alone in the room. Neither of them says anything. The room feels very heavy, even with all the bright paint and art projects, the smell of childhood and snacks. Levi collapses into his desk chair and Erwin stands near him. He can hear children shrieking outside, playing.

"I should have known," Levi says into the cold silence of the room. "That day he peed his pants in class—I should have known."

"Levi, you couldn't have known that. But you noticed. You noticed the jacket, the forgotten lunch. Please don't be so hard on yourself. You helped him."

"I just want them to be okay," Levi says, aware of the vulnerability this statement holds. "I hate that I can't make them all okay."

Erwin looks at him like he's just collectively broken his heart and all the hearts in the surrounding galaxies. He reaches out, showing the first stitch of hesitation Levi's ever seen from him, and then settles his broad hand on Levi's shoulder, and squeezes.

"Maybe focus on the fact that you can help so many of them."

Levi wants to laugh, because Erwin makes it sound so simple and really, it is. He's done more than most. He always will. That's what he wants. And it hits him like a chilly hand, how much Erwin has helped him through all this. How he's made it okay. How he's stood by Levi as an anchor in this whole shitty storm, and is still here with him after the water has calmed. Levi was looking at him all wrong. He wants to thank him, genuinely and sincerely.

Instead he says, "Do you want to go get a drink?"

\--

They go to a bar a few blocks from Levi's house and get drunk. It's not sloppy drunk, just enough to mellow the heavy feelings from earlier. In fact, it makes Levi feel a lot better. Jean is going to be okay. He knows that much, and that's enough for him to let it go. They don't talk about it either, and Levi is glad for it. So he watches Erwin drink thick stout beers and eat bar peanuts.

"That's disgusting," he says.

Erwin looks down at his hand, dusted in peanut fragments.

"But I'm hungry."

"You should eat real food," Levi says, which brings him to his next thought, "I've never seen you eat real food."

"I'm very certain that you have," Erwin says.

"Onions on a cheeseburger do not count."

"Oh," Erwin says, feigning offense. "Well in that case."

Is this okay? Being out with your boss at a bar, drunk? Does this cross a line? Levi doesn't know. He doesn't care right now. It's a local bar and no one here is sober, no one is here to care. The atmosphere is good and Levi is drunk, his head heavy and swimming, his body tingling. He orders another pilsner and he and Erwin sit at their little table in the back corner, surrounded by pen graffiti on the walls and wood of the booth, the light above them dim and suspicious.

Eventually, Levi feels too warm, and they step out onto the back patio, lined in café lights, sobered by the cold air. Levi leans against the wood railing and breathes in. Erwin materializes next to him with water for them both.

"Thanks," Levi says.

Erwin leans on the rail beside him, his hair slightly askew, cheeks red.

"I don't think I saw this happening after our first meeting," he says.

"The one where you scared the shit out of me?"

"Literally," Erwin says, winking, and Levi could scream.

"But honestly," Erwin says. "I wasn't sure how our relationship would go. But I'm glad we can be friendly, working together. And we seem to live relatively close by, as well."

"We do?"

"I saw you the other week, you were coming up the road with your bicycle." Erwin motions drunkenly with a finger in a direction that goes nowhere. "You were soaking wet, by the way, you should really take better care of yourself, especially in this weather."

Water dribbles out of Levi's mouth, disbelief in the fact that Erwin both saw him and has the audacity to suggest Levi is the one who needs help.

" _I_ should take better care of _myself_?"

He makes a few sputtering noises and then closes his lips around his straw and takes another long pull of water. The silence they fall into after that isn't awkward at all. It's comfortable, warm. Levi is starting to feel less and less drunk.

"What made you want to be a teacher?" Erwin says.

Levi doesn't know how to answer at first. The truth is he sort of fell into teaching after floundering in his major for a while in college. He liked kids, and he enjoyed making a structure and controlling a classroom. He didn't have to put much more thought into it than that. He says as much to Erwin, though more condensed and less eloquent. Actually, what he says is, "It was the least annoying thing I could find."

Erwin laughs, an easy intoxicated laugh. It's loud enough that the other person on the patio with them goes inside. Levi snorts.

"So what about you?" he says. "How did you decide on principal as a career choice?"

"Ah, well, my father was a teacher." Erwin pauses to drink more water. "I always admired the profession but realized I was more suited to behind the scenes work."

"So you worked at another school before coming here?"

"Oh no," Erwin says. "This is my first time."

Levi stares at him because he's not sure if he's telling the truth or not, and Erwin is smiling sort of lopsided. Levi shivers, maybe from the cold, and swallows the last of water, ice crunching under his straw. He puts the empty cup on the railing.

"Well I'm glad you're here," Levi says. "At our school, I mean."

"Are you?" Erwin says.

He's leaning closer than he was a moment ago, though Levi isn't quite sure, given his spatial awareness right now.

"I mean you don't have a Russian scat collection, at least as far as I know."

His voice has dropped lower, and without a drink in his hands Levi isn't sure what to do with them right now.

"As far as you know," Erwin says.

He's definitely closer, and Levi isn't stupid, he knows what's about to happen and he hopes for it. He grabs hold of Erwin's waist without thinking about it, eyes darting back and forth between Erwin's own and his mouth.

"Are you gonna—" he starts.

Erwin nods and then kisses him.

Behind the taste of hoppy beer, Levi can taste all of Erwin. He wanted this, wanted this so strongly he can't recall a time when he didn't. It's very easy to kiss Erwin despite their height difference. Erwin cups the back of his head and Levi lets gravity do the work of pulling him into him, his feet sliding between Erwin's own. Erwin's lips are plush and bold. He pushes his tongue into Levi's mouth and Levi's fingers tighten against his waist, his mouth dropping open more. He knows what he's doing. He knows this is Erwin, Erwin his principal, Erwin his boss. He is still so much an enigma and yet at this moment, this moment, Levi feels like he knows him very well.

Someone moans into the kiss, which Levi belatedly realizes is him, and then he pulls back for breath, aware again of the cold air around him. Erwin's eyes look bright, dazed.

"We can't do this here," Levi says.

"No," Erwin says, and disappointingly lets go of him. "Of course not. I'm sorry, I crossed a line—"

"No, no," Levi says. "I mean here, in this bar."

He presses his fingers into Erwin's skin through his shirt.

"Come home with me," he says.

\--

Other than The Dream Levi likes not to think about, he hasn't actually imagined sex with Erwin. Not until this very moment when Erwin is pulling his shirt off does Levi wonder what it will be like, and the thought makes him dizzy with lust. They kiss between layers of removed clothing, only Levi's bedside lamp lit to illuminate them. It's enough. Erwin is golden in the lamplight, parts of his skin puckered with scars from youthful misadventures. He also has a pretty fantastic set of abs, which baffles Levi to no end but doesn't stop him from running his fingers along them.

Erwin tugs his jeans down and then boldly cups Levi's erection through his boxer briefs, his hand very warm. Levi's knees buckle just a bit and he pulls Erwin down for another kiss, because he can't get enough of his mouth. Erwin keeps his hand on his crotch for another moment before slipping both hands around and down into Levi's underwear, grabbing hold of his ass and squeezing, massaging. Levi shivers.

"You know, I had a dream like this once," he says.

Erwin pulls back, eyes hooded.

"Did you now? Tell me about it."

Levi's mind flashes back to Erwin holding him down and the tumble of daddy from his lips. Maybe not something he needs to share the first time.

"I'm not giving you any cheats," he says.

"No? Guess I'll try everything until I figure it out, then."

He kisses Levi again before he can answer and Levi sinks down onto the bed, Erwin moving over top of him, the bulge in his underwear unmistakable. Levi presses his thumb over the head of his clothed erection and Erwin's arms tremble. He slides Erwin's underwear down, and then lifts his hips so Erwin can do the same for him.

Erwin opens him up with one of Levi's legs hitched up on his shoulder, Levi fisting the bed sheets and trying to concentrate on not coming too soon. Erwin has thick, insistent fingers, and alternates between two and three, testing Levi's limit. Levi turns his head into the side of his mattress and breathes ragged.

"Fuck me," he says. "God, Erwin, come on."

Erwin does not need to be told again. He slips his fingers out and Levi hands him a condom from the nightstand. Levi settles his other leg on Erwin's shoulder and pushes into it when Erwin presses himself inside of him, the noises coming between them low and lewd. Erwin's hair is the most out of place that Levi has ever seen and he loves it, loves it sweat slick and stuck to his forehead. Erwin dips down and places kisses to his neck and collarbone, feels his way up to Levi's mouth. Levi winds his hands into Erwin's hair and rides it, the sensation of Erwin inside of him and the movement of them together.

"Levi," Erwin says. "Oh fuck, Levi. You're incredible."

He's speaking against the skin of his cheek, his breath hot and Levi shudders, his throat ripe with choked moans.

"I wanted this," Erwin says. "I wanted you."

\--

Levi wakes up the next morning with a dry mouth and Erwin against his side and by some miracle, no hangover. His alarm is beeping, and he's thankful when Erwin mercifully leans over to silence it. It's only Thursday. They still have to go to school. Which is when Levi remembers that they still have to go to school. And be colleagues. Levi pulls himself upright in bed, still entirely naked, and looks down at Erwin.

"Your house is incredibly clean," says Erwin.

"We slept together," says Levi.

"Yes, and it was very enjoyable, if I can be frank."

Levi isn't sure what action to take next. A part of him wants to freak out, kick Erwin out, and blame the whole thing on being drunk. But he wasn't that drunk, in fact he was mostly sober when he and Erwin kissed, and definitely sober when they got back to his house. And he doesn't regret it. So he decides to offer Erwin breakfast instead.

"I can make eggs," he says. "There will be vegetables in them."

"I mean if you insist on adding them."

"Your diet is disgusting," Levi says, and then crawls over him to get out of bed.

Erwin slaps his ass as he walks to the bathroom and Levi flips him the middle finger.

He still makes him breakfast, though, avoiding the idea of going to school more than anything, so he focuses on making a perfect omelet. Erwin leans against the countertop and watches, fascinated at the way Levi chops up the peppers and mushrooms. They're both just in their underwear, and Erwin has a big fat red mark on his collarbone from Levi's mouth. When Levi is finished cooking, he and Erwin eat together on his couch, Erwin shoveling eggs into his mouth with his fork.

"You're a good cook," he says.

Levi doesn't know if he's being sincere or not, but Erwin does clear his plate. Levi stands up and piles Erwin's plate under his own, Erwin leaning back against his couch in his underwear. This is the exact moment Hanji comes bounding through the front door.

"Levi! There's a car parked in your drive—whoa."

Everyone freezes, like rabbits having spotted a fox in an open meadow.

"Uh," Hanji says.

"Get out," Levi hisses, and Hanji is the first rabbit to bolt.

The door slams and Levi is still standing there, gripping the plates so hard he could probably shatter them.

"Wow," Erwin says. "Who was that?"

"Someone who will be dead soon," Levi says.

He takes the plates to the sink and comes back to Erwin getting dressed in his bedroom, his clothes from the night before wrinkled and probably reeking of sex. Levi stands awkwardly in the doorframe, still with no idea what he should do.

"I need to get to my house and get changed," Erwin says, finishing the last button. "It might not be a good idea to show up to school in the same outfit."

"Yeah," Levi says. "Probably."

"So I'll see you in a few hours."

Erwin sounds remarkably calm. Levi wants him to be freaking out just a little bit.

"Yeah," he says again.

Erwin kisses him before he goes, his fingers brushing against Levi's jaw. Once he's out the door, Levi collapses back first onto his bed, and he smells Erwin everywhere.

\--

He aches the rest of the day and his mind is a spinning wheel of what-ifs and worry. It really puts a kink in the whole teaching thing. Levi is trying to get the kids to work on numbers and keeps forgetting where they're at. Twenty? Thirty? He glances at the flashcard in his hand. Thirty-two. The upside is little kids tend not to notice these kinds of things. But they definitely notice when Levi spills one of the containers of markers everywhere, the thick plastic tubes skittering across the floor and rolling under chairs and tables.

"Game time," Levi says above their laughter. "Whoever collects the most markers gets to pick the story for story time."

This is the day Levi learns that Eren is very aggressive when it comes to competitions.

\--

He makes his decision by the end of the day, which is to get the fuck out of there before Erwin finds him. As soon as dismissal is finished Levi rips his apron off and goes through the halls secret agent style. He walks behind other teachers and does double takes around corners. It's not running away so much as avoiding the situation for the moment. There's a difference.

Once he's out the front doors, Levi power walks to the subway station. On the ride home, he starts to feel guilty. Erwin probably went to look for him. He probably wants to talk to him, and they should talk, but Levi just left him there, probably riddled with his own anxiety. Levi remembers now why he stopped dating a year ago. It's so annoying and complicated.

Hanji is outside getting their mail when Levi walks up to his house, the sky pink with hazy blue clouds from the autumn sunset. Hanji waves to Levi, still wearing their lab coat. Levi nods back and starts up the steps to his door before turning back.

"Hey," he says. "Want to come over?"

"Really?" Hanji says. "Normally I have to invite myself over."

"I'm feeling remarkably empathetic today."

Hanji runs across the street without looking and thank god no cars were coming. Levi leaves the door open, knowing full well that Hanji will shut it behind them, and starts rummaging around for something to cook for dinner. There's chicken he could make, but now that he's slowed down, Levi realizes he's exhausted. He shuts the fridge and calls for pizza instead.

The night goes by with Hanji and him watching reruns of _The Daily Show_ and eating pizza right from the box. They each get about two pieces in before Hanji brings up the inevitable. Levi was waiting for it, actually.

"So, who was that guy that was here this morning?" Hanji says. "Sorry about that, by the way."

"Oh, him," Levi says. "He's my principal."

Hanji starts choking on their crust.

"Your—whoa—wait, seriously? But he's so hot. I thought principals were…old." Hanji takes a long swig of water. "And he was here this morning in his underwear because…"

"I slept with him," Levi says.

Hanji does not choke on their crust this time. Instead they take a thoughtful bite and chew slower. Hanji is the only person Levi can talk to about this, which is laughable and pathetic all at once. He normally isn't the type of person to talk about his problems. Levi is very head-on, able to deal with challenges and issues fairly easily. But this is a whole different problem. A different ballpark. Levi can't even find home plate.

"Are you going to keep seeing him?" Hanji says, like it's that easy.

"He's my boss."

"Right." Hanji shrugs. "But if you like each other, nothing should stop you."

"Except getting fired, banned from teaching, and humiliated," Levi says.

"Listen." Hanji sits up straighter and tosses their last bit of crust into the box, leg tucked under them. "When I first started working at the crime lab—"

"You work at a crime lab?" Levi says.

"What did you think I did?" Hanji says, to which Levi has no answer. "Anyway, when I first started, I had a boss named Keith. And he was just incredible. He knew so much about blood splatter."

There's a pause in which Hanji seems to be reminiscing fondly about that exact detail, which is sort of nice but mostly just alarming. Levi waits patiently regardless.

"Anyway," Hanji says. "I really had quite a crush on him, and it turns out he was quite fond of me as well. But nothing ever came of it. I was too scared to make a move, him being my boss and all, and eventually he took a promotion out of state."

"Wait, what is the point of this?" Levi says.

"The point is I liked him a lot. And I always wonder what could have been between us. I didn't do anything because I was scared, and that's worse than being fired for taking a chance in my opinion."

It's a testament to how bizarre Levi's life is that Hanji is making poignant sense right now. He knows how he wants this to go, now it's just a matter of seeing it through, the way he always has with things, the way he always will. The rawness of Hanji's story gets Levi all empathetic, the fact that he's witnessed a part of their life he never knew about before. Sitting here, eating pizza together, Levi might dare to call it friendship.

"I bet you could look him up," he says to Hanji.

Hanji waves their hand dismissively.

"Nah, I think he's retired now."

This time, Levi is the one who chokes on his pizza.

"What the fuck, how old was he?"

"Oh, I don't know," Hanji says, starry-eyed and wistful. "Sixty, maybe."

\--

It's all rain on Friday, the sky gray and melancholy, and the subway subsequently running slower. Levi gets to school later than he planned, but his resolve is there nonetheless. He walks into the building not deliberately looking for Erwin, but definitely keeping an eye out for him. His shoes squeak against the tile and echo into the empty halls, rain beating steadily on the school's roof. He wonders if it would be too obvious if he just went straight to Erwin's office. As he's thinking this, Erwin's voice sneaks up from behind him.

"Levi," he says, and Levi can't do anything except turn around and make a stupid, "Haa?" noise.

"Um," says Erwin.

Levi clears his throat.

"Sorry, what?"

"Please stop by my office before you leave today."

Levi forces his mouth to work.

"Okay."

The day drags. The rain keeps the kids inside for recess, hyper and smellier. For some reason, kids are always smellier when it rains. Levi has yet to figure out the reason for this. Either way, he's drained by the time dismissal starts. But when it's finished, he has a new anxious energy, and it leads him to Erwin's office. When he's called in, Levi leans against the door to shut it, palms pressed against the wood of it.

"You wanted to see me?" he says.

"I get the idea you're panicking a bit about what happened between us the other night," Erwin says.

Right to the point. They are having this talk. Levi is trying to formulate an answer, but Erwin's eyes keep going back and forth between Levi and other areas of the room like he's searching for something, and it's starting to freak him out.

"Are you not?" Levi says. "Aren't you—what the hell are you doing?"

Erwin is looking up at the air vent.

"I keep thinking there's a camera in here somewhere."

Levi looks up also, though he feels stupid about it.

"Is there?"

"No," Erwin says. "But I'm still looking for one anyway."

"You're so goddamn weird," Levi says. "Keep your eyes in once place for five seconds, fuck. We slept together and you're my boss and it was great but it was certainly highly unethical and we could probably both get fired."

"Yes," Erwin says. That's all he says. Yes.

"So…" Levi fumbles for a moment. "So what do we do? I mean what—"

"I like you," Erwin says, and Levi snaps his mouth shut. "I like you very much, and I regret that I'm your boss, because it complicates things. But I want to be sure that you know I don't regret my actions, nor do I plan on using them against you."

Levi hadn't thought that. Not for a second, but Erwin saying it makes him feel better nonetheless. He pushes himself off from the door and walks toward Erwin slowly, hesitantly, still keeping a distance.

"So what...what do we do now? Forget about it?"

"If that's what you want to do. This is your decision, Levi. Don't let my feelings sway it."

"That's not what I want," Levi says.

He says the words without thinking about it, and he doesn't want to take them back. Levi decides to go ahead and sit down, his anxiety from earlier just about gone now. Vaguely, he thinks of Hanji in the crime lab admiring their geriatric boss and his blood splatter expertise.

"This is just not…this is some serious shit."

"I know," Erwin says. "We'd have to be very careful. Morally, we've done nothing wrong, you know. We're consenting adults."

"But you're still my boss."

"Yes, that is a small wrinkle."

"I wouldn't want any special treatment," Levi says.

"Absolutely not." Erwin pauses. "I do like you, Levi."

"Enough to risk getting fired?"

"Yes," Erwin says, without hesitation.

And Levi doesn't doubt him, not for one second. Erwin has never been anything but authentic with him, and Levi trusts him. He trusts him, and he likes him. Maybe that scares him more than anything else. Should it be this easy? He's not sure. It feels like it should be more complicated.

"Okay," Levi says, and before Erwin can say anything he stands up, smoothing down his sweater from where it bunched up. "Maybe I can come over tonight then."

"That's a terrible and fantastic idea," Erwin says. Then he smiles.

\--

Two days before Thanksgiving break, a pipe bursts in the boiler room and the school is covered in about half an inch of water.

"How Donnie Darko," Nanaba says.

It's actually not quite as dramatic as that. The boiler room is in the basement of the school, and so the flooding is contained to that area, but there's no power and no heat. All the teachers arrive at school and there are electricians and plumbers scurrying about like ants, so they all stand outside, shivering and gossiping.

"Do you think someone sabotaged the pipes?" a fifth grade teacher says.

Levi snorts into his scarf.

"Who the hell would sabotage an elementary school?"

"Zackly?"

People start murmuring.

"I thought he was in Russian prison," Petra says.

The murmuring dies down. Erwin walks out of the school then wearing clunky black rain boots, soot on his arms and hands. Despite the boots, Levi still thinks he is scarily good looking.

"I'm sending you all home," he says. "It's going to take a while to fix this, and there's no point in any of you hanging around and catching cold. Emails will be sent out shortly…when I find a power source."

"So, early Thanksgiving break?" Nanaba says.

"Yes." Erwin smiles. "This is a great time to take a break, catch up on some grading, or just spend time with someone."

He doesn't look at Levi once while saying this, but Levi feels the last part was directed at him anyway. He warms under his coat. Next to him, Petra groans.

"Well this sucks. Now we'll be behind in our lessons."

"Did you honestly have anything planned for the last two days?"

"Excuse you," Petra says. "I did. We were going to make hand turkeys."

He walks back with her to the subway station, goes home, changes, and then waits for Erwin to come over. At this point, they've been sleeping together for about three weeks. It's been good, and they've been careful. They switch off between houses, though they mostly go to Levi's because Erwin never seems to have food in his. The routine involves food, sex, sometimes a movie, and then one of them spending the night before leaving the next day. It's perfect in that respect, and oddly uncomplicated.

The downside is the aspect of doing anything outside their respective houses is not an option. And it isn't like Levi wants to walk around holding Erwin's hand—he abhors public displays of affection—but there are times he's wanted to see a film in the theater, or check out a show, and inviting Erwin along just isn't possible.

The sex mostly makes up for that.

Erwin arrives about two hours after Levi, still wearing the rain boots. He trudges in with the most comical pout on his face, only getting about five feet before Levi stops him and makes him take his boots off.

"You're being very cruel considering the morning I've had," he says.

"My floor doesn't care about your morning."

Soon as Erwin gets his boots off, he wraps his arms around Levi's waist and hoists him up for a kiss. He does this often. It's the type of thing that Levi normally wouldn't stand for, no pun intended, but Erwin always catches him off guard with it and for some reason Levi keeps giving him a pass on it. Maybe it's the way Erwin smiles when he does it, like he can't believe Levi is letting him do it. Levi can't quite believe it either.

"So what's the damage?" he says.

"Not too terrible, actually. The water didn't go high enough to reach any electrical outlets other than the original circuits it shorted. But the pipe on the boiler was so rusty, the water just ate through it." Erwin presses a hand to his forehead and breathes the stress out. "It's inconvenient, but once they've drained the water they can repair the pipe quickly."

"You handled it well," Levi says. "Really well."

Erwin's expression softens at that and he drops his hand, but he stills looks tired, unsure.

"You think so?"

"Once everyone was convinced it wasn't Zackly coming back to exact revenge, everyone was happy for the extra time off."

Wow," Erwin says, the strain all but drained from his face.

"Did you ever think being a school principal would be this exciting?"

"No," Erwin says. "But I'm glad it is."

He leans down for the kiss this time. Levi meets him for it and they shuffle into his bedroom as one being, tug at their clothes along the way and then proceed to make each other very warm. After, Levi naps with his face buried in Erwin's pectorals. There's a cold wind outside and it lulls him to sleep along with Erwin's steady and thick breathing. As he's dozing off, Erwin traces the outline of his hand with his index finger.

They're lazy like that the rest of the day, sleepy sex and cat naps after. Levi drinks hot tea wearing Erwin's sweater and watches him pace around his house on the phone. At night, they order takeout and eat it on the couch, Levi with his legs stretched over Erwin's lap. And when he wakes up the next morning, his first thought is that he doesn't want to go, doesn't want to take the train home for Thanksgiving, doesn't want to do anything but stay right here, even with Erwin's knee digging into his side.

Levi pushes that thought aside, and then farther still, until it's so far in the corner of his mind he can pretend he never had it at all.

\--

There's always a new energy in children after Thanksgiving break. It's like a switch flips, an instinct, like the way birds know it's time to migrate south for the winter. Christmas is almost here. Getting his kids quiet during the first days of December is a task all in and of itself. They sky is grayer but the room is brighter and the Christmas decorations are already out, which doesn't help contain the excitement. Levi always lets them help put the decorations up, even though they're very loud and something about Santa's face kind of freaks him out. He does like the little fake tree on his desk, though. It stays lit the whole season.

"Wow," says Erwin when he stops by later. "Your room is very…festive."

He pokes one of the little ornament balls on the tree. The kids are all napping now, wrapped up in the far end of the room. There are green and red paper chains strung up haphazardly around the room, a few menorahs, even a Kwanzaa bush.

"It's tacky," Levi says. "I hate it."

Erwin squints at the decorations, and then at him. "Is this how you treat things you hate, then?"

"The kids like it."

Erwin hums thoughtfully.

"What?" Levi says.

"Nothing," Erwin says, but then keeps going like he can't help himself. "You act tough but you're so soft. It's very cute."

They're both whispering but Levi glances over at the kids anyway on the one in a million chance someone woke up, heard that, and then used their kindergarten deductive skills to figure out what's going on between them. Once he realizes they're still asleep, he has to try very hard not to let his cheeks go red.

"You're very embarrassing, did you know that?" he says.

"Says the man with a giant disembodied Santa head taped to his classroom door. Is that safe for the children to see?"

"I'm assuming you have a better idea, Anthony Baratta?"

Erwin doesn't even pause. "Jack Frost. Kids love Jack Frost."

"No one cares about Jack Frost, this isn't 1945."

"Yes they do, he was in a children's movie recently. And then another one after that, only this time he was a girl."

"That was not Jack Frost," Levi says, and the conversation goes like that for another five minutes until Levi realizes he's gone two minutes over naptime.

He shoos Erwin out, but not before Erwin makes a point to look at the Santa head on his way out and pretend he's offended by it.

\--

The energy at recess doesn't change, even with the cold weather. Sure, the extra layers of coats and scarves make the kids move a bit slower, but they're still just as eager to go down the slide fifteen times or grip the sinfully cold monkey bars. Levi and Petra stand outside as usual to watch them. They're huddled near the door in case anyone opens it, heat wafting out like an oven, and they get a brief respite. In between those moments, they stand close to each other and share a thermos of hot tea.

This time of year is always a little bit more stressful than most. Teaching kindergarten doesn't require a lot of extensive grading or tests, but the state is putting on the pressure to get literacy up, and it's always a balance of lessons and time for holiday activities that gets everyone feeling stretched a little thin. Levi feels it now, though for him, stress has always been a motivator. He likes the pressure, the rush of finishing what needs to be finished. Oddly enough, before going to college for education, he'd been considering a career in law enforcement.

Warmth comes from behind, and Levi and Petra turn to see Nanaba as the door opener, her eyes narrowing at the cold wind immediately.

"Wow, it is freezing out here," she says. "I am not looking forward to first grade recess."

"It's supposed to be a rough winter this year, too," Petra says.

"Worse than last year when the swing set froze?"

"You'll be shitting icicles," Levi says.

Nanaba wrinkles her nose as Petra passes her the tea thermos, which Nanaba declines with a short wave of her hand. Levi takes it instead, holding the warmth of it in both his gloved hands.

"I hate winter," Petra says, to which Nanaba immediately says, "Better find a man to keep warm with, then."

"You know I have a husband, right? You've met him."

Nanaba laughs, a trail of white breath spouting into the air.

"I'm sorry," she says. "How could I forget Oluo? Well, Levi and I will have to find men, then."

Levi doesn't answer. He doesn't have to answer. He refuses to answer, during which time Nanaba recognizes the ambiguity of his non-answer.

"Wait," she says. "Are you single, Levi?"

They both look at him. The pause Levi takes is about two seconds too long, during which time he feels like the earth could split apart and magma could erupt from its core, swallow all of them in fire.

"Yes," he says.

Nanaba claps his shoulder in solidarity. Levi just wants the day to be over now. He hates these little moments, these little reminders of exactly what his relationship with Erwin is, which is technically nonexistent. And even if it weren't against policy, Levi doesn't know what he'd call it even then. He's never let himself stop to think about it.

"What are you doing out here, anyway?" he says to Nanaba.

"Oh." She stage slaps the heel of her palm to her forehead. "I wanted to ask you about Jean. How's he doing? We've all been worried."

All their eyes flicker the playground where Eren and Jean are playing. They look like they're trying to simultaneously race and catch each other.

"That social worker emailed me about a week ago," Levi says. "They did a house visit, after which the mother kicked the boyfriend out. Jean is going to see a child psychologist, but she doesn't think there will be any kind of lasting damage."

"Oh thank god," Nanaba says. "Everyone will be relieved."

Levi didn't plan on any of the other teachers knowing. He'd told Petra, but then she told Nanba, and well, the school is small. He still felt a kind of sadness when Historia emailed him. He doesn't know why. Maybe because he wasn't able to be there, or maybe just imagining it was enough.

Nanaba goes back inside shortly after, and recess is drawing to a close. Petra pours Levi the last of the tea and nudges his shoulder lightly.

"You seem happy lately," she says.

Levi shakes the tea dregs from the thermos.

"Am I not normally a vat of sunshine?"

"I don't have to dignify that with an answer. But you look happy." Petra shrugs. "I actually thought you were seeing someone."

Levi wants to tell her. He's thought about it at least a hundred times, and every time he's stopped himself. It's not that he doesn't trust her to keep the secret. But fuck, if anyone ever found about him and Erwin…Levi couldn't put her in that position. He couldn't ask her to lie for them, or have to keep that information.

"Mr. Levi!"

They both look up. Jean is running over, white puffs of breath steaming out from his mouth. Levi holds an arm out, gripped with concern.

"What is it, Jean? What's wrong?"

Jean just about collapses against Levi's leg, struggling to catch his breath. Then he looks up.

"I have to do a poop," he says.

\--

The school day ends with the weekly staff meeting, which Erwin is surprisingly on time to, though not prepared for. He sits at the front of the room trying to organize his papers while the rest of the teachers talk. One of the younger third grade teachers, Nifa, is trying to rally everyone's attention.

"Is anyone going to the winter festival?" she says. "You're supposed to auction yourself off for a sleigh ride. It's for charity."

"Make Levi go," Nanba says. "He's single."

Levi hunches and glances quickly at Erwin, though he hasn't looked up.

"Would you shut up?"

"Ah," Erwin says loudly, disrupting the conversation. "These aren't my papers at all."

\--

Erwin calls him later when Levi is getting off the subway.

"Are you all right?" he says. "You seemed stressed today."

"I am," Levi says. "Can I come over and clean your apartment?"

Erwin laughs, agrees, and then Levi goes over and does exactly that. To Erwin's credit, he's been keeping it a lot cleaner lately since Levi comes over now. The first time Levi saw it, he was appalled at the state of it. There are two types of unclean, and one of them is a deal breaker for Levi, which is flat out uncleanliness—cockroaches, moldy shower heads, food caked to the microwave. Then there's just being messy, which is, luckily, what Erwin is. Levi thinks sometimes he keeps it messy on purpose just so Levi can have the satisfaction of cleaning it.

Either way, Levi scrubs down the entirety of Erwin's kitchen and refuses to let Erwin help, so Erwin orders them Thai food instead. He lights a bunch of tea candles and they eat like that, sharing bites of Pad Thai and red curry. Levi tucks the leftovers back into the boxes and sticks them in the fridge after, tired from the candlelight. He feels Erwin behind him, who leans down and kisses his neck before he can turn.

"Really?" Levi says, amused.

Erwin hums and kisses the back of his neck, insistent. His hands grab at Levi's waist and Levi lets himself press back into him, the solid weight of Erwin's body. Erwin, indefinable and enigmatic, who has a presence that Levi is attracted to and can't and won't try to deny anymore.

"What's with you?" Levi says.

Erwin doesn't answer. He turns Levi around and kisses him, and then Levi doesn't need an answer.

They're fucking less than five minutes later, Levi in Erwin's lap, their foreheads pressed together. Erwin is the one who maneuvered them like this, so urgent in it all, like the moment would disappear if they didn't grab it quickly and hold on. His fingers are pressed lightly against the back of Levi's neck and he pushes himself up into him, Levi with his thighs slotted around Erwin's hips. It's never been like this before, and the intimacy of it startles Levi a little, but he doesn't close his eyes. Erwin is looking at him. He's looking at him like he's figuring something out, or maybe already has. Levi has a sweaty grip on his shoulders and he feels so full, Erwin hot inside him, around him.

"Fuck," he says, with an intensity and breathlessness. "Fuck, Erwin."

Erwin groans, eyes shutting momentarily.

"Levi, Levi, you—"

He kisses him instead of finishing. Levi does not know whether he wanted him to or not.

\--

Their little holiday party happens the last day of school, during which time Levi goes to three different stores and nearly accosts a college-aged employee who has no idea what nut-free means. Almonds are a nut, goddammit. He's also been hounding his kids for their permission slips from home to participate in and eat at the holiday party. Levi is nothing if not a thorough planner, and he's certainly not going to get sued by some parent whose child is suddenly supposed to be gluten-free after he feeds them cake. Petra's class is also coming to his room so they can have the party together, which was decided after Mikasa seemed ready to cancel Christmas herself rather than spend the party away from her brother.

Levi spends the morning getting the snacks ready, separating the candies for the students who have allergies and recounting permission slips to make sure no one is left out. They have three activities and two Christmas movies to watch. Petra joked about sneaking whiskey into the tea thermos. Or maybe she wasn't joking, Levi supposes he'll find that out once the party starts.

Petra's kids come into his room just after morning announcements. The kids are full from breakfast but not full enough to stop them from eating the candy that's been allotted onto their little paper plates. They make snowmen with construction paper and cotton balls while Christmas music plays in the background, Petra and Levi walking around to make sure no one eats any cotton balls instead of their marshmallows. They'll be sending them home to their parents with extra energy and bellyaches, most likely.

After the activities are finished, Levi puts on a film for them and he and Petra sit as his desk together and whisper, drinking tea that is definitely not spiked with whiskey.

"I can't wait for the break," Petra says. "I'm going to sleep in every day, Christmas morning excluded."

"I'm going to avoid my gangster uncle," says Levi.

"No other plans?"

"I don't think you understand the seriousness of that first plan."

It's only a half-day, so the kids are out by noon, the classroom they've left behind looking like a very colorful bomb went off inside of it. Petra tries to stay and help, but Levi shoos her off.

"I know you need to get stuff ready for your parents," he says. "So go."

"I would find this very sweet if I didn't know just how much you love to clean." Petra catches him with a hug when he isn't looking and presses a kiss to his temple. "Merry Christmas, Levi. And don't think I won't forget to text you for your birthday."

Levi scoffs and bends to sweep some dropped food into his dustpan.

"Merry Christmas, Petra."

She leaves and the classroom is a mournful kind of silence. Levi keeps cleaning.

He's just about finished when Erwin stops by. He pulls the door shut behind him, whistling a Christmas carol. Levi dumps the dustpan one last time into the trash bag.

"It's spotless in here," Erwin says. "You're a miracle worker."

"Why are you flattering me?" Levi pulls the ties of the trash bag closed. "Did the basement flood again?"

Erwin sits half on one of the tables which he is absolutely too big for. Levi doesn't think even half of his ass could fit in one of the kid's chairs, not that he's complaining. He does want something, Levi can tell that much.

"The basement is very much intact, or least I should hope so." Erwin cocks his head to the side. "When are you going home for Christmas?"

"Not for another week."

Levi had been hoping for this, not that he'd said anything about it. He has time before those two weeks with his mom, and he'd like for Erwin to be in them.

"Good," Erwin says. "I wanted to ask you to accompany me somewhere."

A succession of alarm bells start going off in Levi's head. He hadn't expected his, doesn't know what to do with it. Truthfully, he's never considered going anywhere with Erwin, mostly because of how their relationship is.

"Like…" Levi pauses. "What, like a trip?"

"Sort of. You see, my father's house has just been sold, so I need to go settle some paperwork. It's only about two hours away from here."

"So I'll be meeting your dad?"

More alarm bells. Levi can barely hear himself speak.

"Oh no," Erwin says. "No, he died six months ago."

Levi's head goes abruptly silent. He stares at Erwin for further comment, but Erwin doesn't give any.

"Jesus," Levi says. "I'm sorry."

His voice sounds lame and confused and he knows it, but Erwin's got him so off guard he doesn't know what else to do. Erwin always does this somehow, just when Levi thinks he's got it, Erwin flips it around, shifts the axis.

"It's all right," Erwin says. "I just thought…since we'd be apart during the holidays, you might want to spend some time together beforehand. And since it would be out of the city, we might be able to go out in public."

"How romantic." Levi pauses again to think about it, about how he didn't know, doesn't know anything, but still can't think of a reason to say no. "Sure, I'll go."

"I'm glad," Erwin says, and sounds like he genuinely means it. "We leave tomorrow morning."

\--

By some miracle, they do leave in the morning. Time is always sort of relative to Erwin, but he's ready to be out the door by the time Levi's finished brushing his teeth. They're on the road in Erwin's car at just about nine, coffee and bagels in their laps. The first half of the trip is spent talking, with a good portion of it dedicated to Levi explaining to Erwin that washing machines need to be cleaned.

"But they're washing machines," Erwin says. "They clean things. You don't have to clean them, that's their job."

"Even things that clean can get dirty, you idiot. Don't you clean your mop?"

"What mop?" Erwin says, his grin so wide and stupid.

And silence settles in the last half, soft music in the speakers. It's not snowing but the sky is still gray, and Levi watches the clouds roll and shift in the sky. Erwin reaches across the center console with a gloved leather hand and holds Levi's own. Levi feels sort of twitchy, on edge, but can't pinpoint the reason why. But he holds Erwin's hand until they pull off the highway and Erwin needs both to get off the exit.

Erwin's father's house is a modest two-story made of brick and the lawn is dead but still neatly manicured. There's a huge SOLD sign slapped over the original for sale sign. Levi follows Erwin up the steps with his overnight bag slung over his shoulder and breathes in cold air while Erwin unlocks the door.

The house itself is remarkably furnished. It looks like someone still lives there. The smell is strange going in, the smell of an empty house but still a lingering scent of familiarity, like the house itself is trying to hold onto the last occupant. There's late '90s furniture all over, dark mahogany cases of knick-knacks and a huge bookcase filled to the brim. Levi takes it all in quickly and then looks to Erwin for some reaction, but Erwin seems remarkably at ease with it all. Levi follows him upstairs and is immediately relieved when Erwin informs him they'll be staying in his old room. He wasn't about to sleep in the bed of a recently departed man.

"The mattress isn't bad," Erwin says, bouncing on it once. "And tomorrow I'll sign the papers with the realtor."

"Are you all right?" Levi says.

"What do you mean?"

Levi drops his overnight bag onto the floor and his deodorant stick spills out. He kicks it back in.

"Coming back here, I mean." Levi pauses, shrugs. He's really no good at this kind of stuff. "It was pretty recent."

"It is strange," Erwin says. "My father lived a good life, but…I don't know. It doesn't seem fair still."

Levi wants to ask how it happened. Heart attack? Cancer? He has enough social awareness to know that's not something to ask, but wants to. He wants to ask a hundred things, all of them bubbling just below his sternum. Instead he takes his coat off and folds it over his arm before sitting by Erwin on the bed.

"What do you want to do until tomorrow?" he says.

"I think I'd like to go out to dinner with you." Erwin sounds giddy despite himself. "And if you're very good we can get hot chocolate after."

"Aw, gee, Mister," Levi says, his voice flat. "Can't we go to the arcade, too?"

"No," Erwin says gravely. "But if you stop making me feel like a creepy old man I can see about lighting the fireplace in here tonight."

Levi mimes zipping his lips shut.

\--

They do go out to dinner. It's actually a bit terrifying. There's almost no chance they'll run into anyone they know or be seen by them, and even if they were, chalking it up to a casual business dinner is possible. But Levi still scans the restaurant as they walk in, wary. He even gives their server a once over while he pours the wine, which seems to visibly alarm him. At first, Levi thinks Erwin is remarkably calm, but he notices halfway through that Erwin's eyes dart around the restaurant occasionally.

It's ridiculous, but still kind of nice, constant fear of discovery aside. Levi wonders if this is what it would be like always, if things weren't the way they are. Out like this, Levi can watch Erwin in ways he wasn't able to before. It's like seeing a whole new part of him. This whole trip has been like that, from the moment they left the house. To someone watching from the outside, Levi can't imagine what it looks like to them. He can't even imagine it to himself.

Hot chocolate comes after, the two of them walking close on the street but not touching. They both get whipped cream on their noses while drinking, and there are twinkling white lights all over the town and it's horrible, how light Levi's fucking heart feels. He wishes it could be like this always. It makes him genuinely sad to know that it can't be. He holds onto what it is right now, though, he and Erwin sitting side by side in the gazebo in the center of the town, and the night is cold and perfect.

They drive back to the house holding hands, and when they get there Erwin lights the fireplace as promised. Levi does nothing helpful except stare at his ass while he tries to get the starter log going.

"Should we be doing this, anyway?" Levi says. "Didn't you just sell this house?"

"It's still technically mine until tomorrow."

Erwin gets the fire going and crawls over to Levi on the blanket they've spread across the floor. The wood crackles, warmth spreading into the house already.

"Should we trash it before tomorrow, then?" Levi says.

Erwin lays his head on Levi's lap, the yellow light of the fire on his face.

"I'm finding it difficult to imagine you trashing anything."

"You should have seen me in high school."

Erwin smiles warmly, eyes cast on the fire, almost dreamlike.

"I wish I could have," he says, and Levi wants to ask him _why_. Why is he here, why is any of this happening?

He doesn't. He watches the fire with Erwin until it dies down to nothing, and the two of them sleep entwined.

\--

Erwin goes to the realtor first thing the next morning after breakfast. He leaves Levi in the kitchen still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. As soon as the door shuts, Levi is up and snooping, can't help himself. He opens the kitchen cabinets, the drawers. The pantry is empty save for an old taco seasoning packet and a bag of rice. Levi walks the rooms and there are still shadows on the walls from where pictures used to be. He runs his fingers over the fabric of the couch, the reclining chair. It's like he's learning through the house. The only room he doesn't go in is Erwin's father's room. But he walks everywhere else, searching for absolutely nothing. Nothing of sentiment is there, nothing of real value. Levi slumps back down the stairs when his phone rings. It's Erwin.

"It's official," he says. "We're homeless here now."

"Last chance to leave a dump in the toilet and not flush it," Levi says.

"I think I'll skip that—oh, I have to go, I have another call coming through. I'll be back there soon."

He hangs up just as Levi is saying bye. He tucks his phone into the pocket of his pajama pants and goes back into the kitchen to make himself another cup of tea, stronger this time. When he opens the cabinet Erwin did earlier to pull out the sugar, there's a little pocket-sized photo tucked into the cabinet, nearly lost in the space of the wood. Levi pulls it out. It's a photo of Erwin. He must be only eight or nine years old in it, and he's standing by the front door smiling, his eyes owlish, eyebrows already full. There's a cast on his right arm, resting in a sling over his shoulder. Levi stares at it, and then keeps staring.

He's on his third cup of tea when Erwin comes through the door, coat trailing behind him. He's beaming.

"I have really good news—"

"You broke your arm?" Levi says.

Erwin looks down.

"Now?"

"No." Levi grabs the photo from the counter. "Here. How old were you?"

"Where did you find this?" Erwin says.

He takes the photo between his thumb and index finger.

"I was almost nine here. Jumped off the swings."

At this point, Levi has started pacing. Erwin follows him with his eyes.

"Fuck," he says. "Fuck."

"Levi…" Erwin puts the picture down. "What's wrong? My arm isn't broke anymore, you know."

"I don't know anything about you."

Erwin's face fades from worry to gentleness.

"Yes you do."

"No, I don't. I didn't know you had a dad—"

"Well I imagined that you would have assumed."

"I mean that he died fucking recently. I didn't know."

"I didn't tell you," Erwin says. "I wasn't ready to talk about it. How should you have known?"

"We're sleeping together," Levi says. "We're taking a huge risk. I should know these things."

"Levi—"

"How many other bones have you broken, anyway? Shit, Erwin, what the hell were we thinking? We're going to get caught, we're going to get fired and one day my kids will look back and figure out why." Levi's throat feels raw so he pauses, breathes. "Why did you ask me to come here?"

That's the real question. That's the thick of it, and somehow not even the surface of it. Levi can't remember the last time he felt this unclear about anything. He hadn't thought about it, before. Erwin was just there and he didn't think about it. But now he thinks about him not being there, and it isn't something he likes. He wants to know. He has to.

"I didn't want to come here alone," Erwin says, the sudden show of vulnerability and honesty striking. "And I didn't want to come with anyone else but you."

There are a lot of things Levi thinks of saying, but none of them feel just right. He's still reeling for a reason he can't quite understand, hot now in his clothes.

"Why didn't you say that earlier?" he asks finally.

"I felt very…lost, after my father died. He was important to me." Erwin glances down at the picture of him on the counter. "I took the job at your school to distance myself from it all. I certainly wasn't expecting to meet you."

It makes a little more sense now hearing it, the past few months. He'd been transitioning, mourning. Levi hadn't even thought about any of that. But Erwin had been looking. It should have been obvious to him, he thinks, that Erwin wanted him and him alone to come. Erwin with his terrible diet and soft demeanor. Erwin who gets it done when it needs to be. He knows him.

"So what now?" he says. "Because I don't know about you but I'm getting real fucking sick of takeout."

"Levi," Erwin says. "I was offered a job as superintendent."

Levi presses his tongue against his teeth, gives the words a moment to register in his head, though they're doing a poor job of it.

"You were what?"

"I put in a while ago for the job," Erwin says. "The week after we started sleeping together, actually. I didn't want to say anything until I found out whether I got the position."

"When did you find out?"

"Twenty minutes ago, when I had to get off the phone with you."

"Twenty minutes—?! You're—" Levi is having a difficult time understanding. "You're taking another job? But you just started this job. I don't—"

"I'm fairly certain I'm in love with you," Erwin says.

Levi doesn't say anything, mostly because his mind is completely devoid of any thought.

"I want to take you out," Erwin says. "To restaurants, to art galleries. Everywhere. Even to my mother's house, though that would be some months down the line. But I want to do that. And with the current situation that is not an option. But me as superintendent? I wouldn't be your boss."

And all Levi can say is, "You applied the week after we got together?"

"I had a feeling about you," Erwin says.

Levi sways on his feet a moment, and then walks back and leans against the counter. It's sort of odd, having this talk in a dead man's kitchen. But every single part of it feels real now, especially the part where this could work. Then it becomes very simple, as simple as waking up in the morning, as simple as existing, fully and completely. All that time he'd been avoiding it because it didn't seem possible. He hadn't let himself think about it, the reality of it almost sure to prove too terrible. But he'd wanted it the whole time. He wanted it all.

"Is that too much?" Erwin says. "I know it's sudden. I'm not trying to scare you—"

"I love you, too," Levi says.

There's a pause, during which the universe is probably trying to hold itself together, and then Erwin kisses him. Levi can taste the relief in it. He stumbles forward and Erwin stumbles with him, apparently intent on not stopping. Levi's fingers twist into Erwin's coat and he holds. They teeter like that before Erwin reaches down and grabs hold of Levi's thighs and hoists him onto the counter.

His gloved fingers reach up under Levi's shirt and skitter across his ribs, hips flush against him. Levi is fairly certain Erwin would fuck him on the kitchen counter right now.

"Wait, wait," he says. "We're—this is still your father's—"

"Ah, yes," Erwin says, barely pulling back, eyes still sort of shocked and cloudy. "Maybe not the place for that."

"You think?"

Erwin leans back in quickly to nip his lip.

"You may be small but you occupy quite a bit of room in my mind, you know."

"Focus," Levi says, furious at the blush that heats under his cheeks.

"Right." Erwin grabs Levi's hand. "Pack your bag, we're going back to your place right now."

Levi scrambles. It is the longest two-hour drive of his life.

\--

Erwin takes the job. Of course he does. He informs the school after winter break and even suggests a replacement. The whole thing is still kind of a blur to Levi. Erwin's got more aces up his sleeve than he thought, and somehow that makes his friendly and unassuming demeanor even more terrifying. The teachers are, of course, devastated to hear that he's leaving. There's a real huff at the first staff meeting, and Levi pretends to feel put out about the whole thing.

"I can't believe it," Petra says. "Three principals in one school year."

Everyone is glum about it for a week. Even the sky seems gray in mourning. Once they meet Erwin's replacement, they're less glum. He shows up on Erwin's last day, taller than Erwin and, according to Nanaba, twice as handsome. Levi disagrees with this but does not say so aloud. Mike seems quiet though, in line with Erwin's way of administration, and that's all Levi cares about. Erwin starts his new position tomorrow, only twenty minutes away, and Levi is happy for him, but if he left them with a shitty replacement Levi would never let him forget it.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all," Mike says after Erwin's introduction.

Next to Levi, Nanaba groans.

"Oh dammit, even his voice is handsome," she says.

Normally, Levi would ignore her, but now he claps her once on the shoulder and says, "Good luck."

\--

He wakes up to the sound of the kettle boiling, and there's sunlight dipping through the blinds and somewhere, a bird that forgot to fly south for winter won't shut up. Erwin brings tea in a few minutes later, dressed only in his pajama bottoms. Levi pushes the covers aside, an obvious invitation, and Erwin accepts it. He pushes a mug into Levi's hand and a kiss onto his forehead. He's unshaven, and the stubble itches on his skin.

"What are you doing up so early?" Levi says. "You're never up before me."

"I had a dream about the beach."

Levi watches him through his lashes, bleary-eyed and half asleep still.

"It's about five degrees outside, and even if it weren't, I hate the beach."

"Let me guess," Erwin says. "The sand?"

Levi doesn't give him the satisfaction of a response. Erwin hums and they sit side by side in bed together, their legs stretched out. Levi hooks one of his legs over Erwin's, content not to move at all. It's been a week since Erwin started his new position. They've gone out in public three times and haven't run into anyone they know yet, but it's nice now, knowing they could and it wouldn't matter at all. When Erwin kissed him in the snow last weekend, Levi didn't give a damn who saw at all.

After a few minutes of calm, the two of them still waking up, Erwin hands Levi his mug and steps out of bed. He grabs what looks like a book from his overnight bag and brings it over. Once he settles back in bed, Levi realizes it's a photo album.

"Is this what I think it is?"

"You had such a visceral reaction to the one picture, I thought you'd want to see more."

Levi sets both their mugs on the nightstand and sits up more, attentive. He presses his cheek against Erwin's arm as he opens the photo album, the first snapshot showing him as a baby, plump and white and bright-eyed.

"Your eyebrows were impressive even then."

Erwin's laugh shakes them both.

"How dare you. I had a condition."

"You volunteered this," Levi says. "Remember that."

"And don't think this is a one-way street, by the way," Erwin says. "I fully expect you to give me some embarrassing depictions of your own life."

It's not a miracle, but careful fucking planning that Levi doesn't have any baby pictures of himself in his house. He leans heavier against Erwin, hand settled on his thigh under the covers.

"Remind me after we're finished with this," he says, "to tell you about a dream I had with you in it."

Sometime later, about an hour and sixteen minutes to be precise, Hanji comes waltzing into Levi's house, hears them and then leaves immediately. The subsequent times after, Hanji always knocks. For what it's worth, Levi thinks it's all worked out kind of nice.

**Author's Note:**

> Do you ever get the feeling that if Erwin weren't saddled with all that guilt and the whole post-apocalyptic dystopian setting stuff he'd be a really funny but strange guy? Because I do. 
> 
> This is a late (let's not say how late) birthday fic for the fabulous [M](http://mstrmagnolia.tumblr.com/), whose eruri art I'm sure you're all familiar with because it is flawless. She asked me for more sugar daddy fic but then I did?? Not do that?? I'm sorry, this happened instead. It occurred to me that I'd never written Erwin and Levi in a comedy setting, which they desperately need right now. And what's funnier than hooking up with your boss? I don't know. Anyway, happy birthday, M!


End file.
